Buster's money making scheme

	Compo's money making scheme "Knock me sideways with a flipin' telegraph pole" gasped Kelly the dysfunctional drummer boy, when he spied his old mate Compo up to his knackers in the mud. " What the heck're you up to now? last I heard you were off to make some films for that piggy eyed person Attenborough." "Aye, I surely was, and I think Iwould have been if it hadn't been for that tight money grabbing local emporium owner " replied Compo. "Local emporium owner, what the heck has he got to do with anything" remarked Kelly the dysfunctional drummer boy.
"If you remember I relieved that tight person of this tinky winky suit when he sacked me from the Christmas grotto at his emporium. Turns out he got them very cheap from a sweatshop in the Ukraine, they cost him next to nothing at all, and I know why. The damn zips don't work. I can't get the bastard thing off" "Gosh" said Kelly, not really interested. "He always was a tight person that emporium owner. He hasn't built his extensive empire by putting good zips into cheap shite. So what are your options?" "Options" replied Compo. "I'll tell you what the options are. I have to starve myself, and when I'm as thin as a flipin' lat, they can pull me out through the bastard neck hole." "That could take rather a long while" said Kelly. "Whenever I see you your always shoveling meat pies down your neck at the tea hut"
	"You don't have to tell me that, clever chap" said Compo. "I'm getting even fatter if owt, so that's why I'm onto plan B" "Plan B. More like plan Z.So tell me fat man, what is plan B." "Its absolutly brill" said Compo,"I was talkin' to Heroic handsome Cap'n Bucko last week. He was tellin' me about a strange fetish web site called www.******.com." "Silly daft thing " said Kelly, " waddya mean fetish" "Well", said Compo. "These orientals are actually crying out for weird shite. Strange eyed little leprechauns pay a fortune for risque vids" "Well you certainly look rather mucky" said Kelly. "Not that type of mucky you daft bastard, I'm on about your actual porn, hardcore. "
"Only hardcore you'll be involved with is that driveway you promised to lay for captain Shitstill, in return for a pontoon berth with them posh people from the West Riding " "I'm telling you"said Compo."According to Bucko, and he should know, them little fellows are well into all sorts. They like fat people, they toss off seeing people in rubber and they really love seeing people in mud. And crikey, stroll on, show 'em a bit of bondage and there running around like electric 3 pin plugs. " "So I thought, I can jolly well offer all that in one. Check out my web site. www.fatchapinarubbersuitblatheredinmudandplayingaboutwithchains.com I've had loads of hits" "Well your not turnin' me on" gasped Kelly. "Thank goodness for that" said Compo.................................. to be continued